Spring 2016

Meditation Walk

This Semester, I would like to pursue another installation using meditation as a theme. I was inspired by the light I see all around me on my morning walks in the maritime forest near my home and photographed what I saw (see photos near sketch). It reminded me of light coming through stained glass windows in a cathedral. I was also struck by the abstract feeling of vertical lines being connected to the horizontal ground by light; much like that found in a Lu Shoukun’s abstract literati ink painting (copy among the photos). On the same walk, the sun’s light hit the river displaying thousands of diamonds of light dancing across its surface. It was truly awe inspiring. 

While thinking about how I wanted to show this inspiration in my work, I researched artist’s work that reminded me of my experience. I remembered that Robert Morris had used felt as a material to make his sculptures; some of which reminded me of tall trees. See the right photo of Untitled, 1969. I also found this Ai Weiwei work entitled Fountain of Light, which was very close to what I was feeling in the forest that morning. It occurred to me I could use burlap sewn into long tubes hanging from the ceiling to duplicate the overwhelming size of the vertical trees I walked amongst. I reused the light box I made for the last installation to replicate the feeling of standing at the river’s edge—I covered it with white burlap and spray painted it with graduated blues.

This week I experimented with Christmas lights to duplicate the light I saw in the forest. I combined both clear lights with clear bulbs to reproduce sunlight hitting the trees and color lights with black bulbs to leave hints of stained glass. Sewing the first burlap tube together at 12′ long gave me my first “tree” to experiment with lighting. This was just the beginning of other light combinations.

I am continuing my experiments with lighting and have completed 4 “trees”. Since I use meditative walks, or Shinrin Yoku to solve problems, or at least put them in perspective, I included 2 process pieces to illustrate my relationship difficulties along the hike.

I created a wall on wheels to signify places my adult relationships have taken me. All four of these “murals” were shown during different times in the semester as process pieces. It was one sculpture changed four times. #1 representing the dating period with its adventures and happy memories. #2 Marriage with all its traditional restrictions. #3 Divorce included the disassembly of the home and the eventual mudslinging. #4 represents the removal of the ball and chain with a blank slate to write my future without restrictions. See below.

This week I painted the “wall” white and built the cage (in the shape of a house) into the side. Furnishings, trees, shrubs, and a picket fence finished the house portion. I installed the ball and chain on one end of the rolling cabinet. On the other end, I made and installed the tin can noise makers. Since I am portraying the whole piece as a matrimonial package, I wrapped the whole piece in a large white ribbon.

Then I turned my attention to the other process piece, which involves mother/daughter relationship problems; I entitled this one I’m With Stupid. I began painting the canvas to show my abuse as a child. As an adult, I asked my mother why she beat me and her answer was to make me “normal”; thus, the title. I will make a “crib” for the painting (as per the drawing) since the abuse started in infancy. It will be my first attempt to make a “combine” Rauschenberg style. I bought the wood, cut, and sanded the pieces, and primed them for painting and assembling next week.  

I finished the painting and construction of the crib for I’m With Stupid. The finished piece does not portray the violence I wanted it to; so, I will work on that next week. I added another coat of mud to my Marriage Package, because the mudslinging goes both ways. I also started reworking aspects of the light box so that I can reconstruct it for this installation.

I redesigned the new light box, built its base, and refurbished its center section. A faculty critique, held this week, showed that my piece I’m With Stupid is still not saying what I wanted (even after a couple of slash marks); so, I’m working on several ideas to show abuse without being too literal…a hard line to walk. Note to self: I found the faculty shut down to the discussion of child abuse.

After working with the lights for several weeks, I’ve scratched the Christmas light idea and ordered battery operated mini lights to test. I made eight more burlap trees. I’ve also applied several layers of paint to the surface of the canvas. This shows the “whitewashing” that occurred to cover up abuse. I remade another base for the light box so that the horizon line would line up with the audience’s sight at river’s edge. 

This was an interesting week…working and reworking both process pieces to get them ready for an all-faculty review on Friday. Based on a lot of opinions, I made a lot of changes and ended up a long way away from where I wanted to go with the two of them. The critiques included the opinions that they were too strong and too obvious. They lacked poetry and silence; they could be made more interesting by adding some things that did not fit in their tidy packages. As one professor said, I had added more specificity to After the Love has Gone and eliminated it in, I’m With Stupid. Both show the relationship problems in their worst light. At the final installation, I hope to show them in their healed position.

Process art is a movement where the product is not the focus—the process is. In both of my pieces on relationships, I showed how I processed these traumatic events. Throughout, I showed the pieces to be critiqued by the faculty. I don’t think they ever understood what I was showing. They never understood them in relation to me—they never saw them as my process.

This week’s concentration was on the installation. I found the site and drafted everything in position. I will need a total of 50 trees, the light box representing the river’s edge, and both process pieces in their final healed stages. The light box, covered with burlap was installed on its final base. Three more trees were completed.

I found the perfect lights for the “trees” and figured out how to sew them in the tubes. Finished 11 of the trees. I spray painted the burlap covered light box and arranged the 300 tiny lights to show the sunlight reflecting on the water.

With only two more weeks of school left, I have suspended all of my studio work. I am having medical problems that have to be addressed before I can continue the physical work. In the meantime, I will continue to construct the remaining trees and bring the two process pieces to completion. I plan to show this installation early in the fall 2016 semester.

I created two process pieces that show relationship problems and the healing thereof. Personal issues are handled with sensitivity and care through meditation and, especially, walking meditation. I’m With Stupid demonstrates child abuse and how to incorporate problems of life—I cannot overemphasize the value of agony; it is a part of every human life. According to Zen Buddhism, life guarantees suffering. To grow from any opportunity afforded by this condition, we must handle personal work in a thoughtful and respectful way; much like the Japanese reverence for the art of mending pottery named kintsugi. It means to repair with seams of gold. The most common history I’ve found for this practice dates to the 15th century when a shogun needed a broken bowl repaired. The repaired bowls became more prized than the original pottery. These bowls, with their rivers of gold, became distinctive because they resembled nothing but themselves. In I’m With Stupid, I wanted to show the abuse (emotional and physical), the subsequent cover-ups, and the healing through art. The repairs occurred over a lifetime and were expressed through the creation of art—thus; the painter’s rag made whole the broken seams.

I created After the Love has Gone to show moving from being married to being single again. Meditation is used to find guidance within; as shown with repetitive gestures through this act of mark making. We use the chalkboards as intellectual canvases to scatter hypnotic scribbles and fantastical ideas. They epitomize that moment where knowledge and imagination meet to foster new ideas; new ways to continue life’s journey.